Turnabout Affections
by JMProfio
Summary: Miles is given a strange tea as a gift, with unforeseen side-affects. Lang/Miles. Rated M for implied sex.


Edgeworth sat at his desk, calmly organizing his files. This was the first peace and quiet the prosecutor had gotten in quite some time, and he was bound and determined to get at least a little work done before it was interrupted. No sooner had he decided this then Jess came bounding into the room, giggling uncontrollably. In one hand she held a brown paper bag, which she placed excitedly on his desk.

Almost afraid to know, he asked, "Carrion, what is that?"

"It's…" She paused, interrupted by a fit of giggling. "It's _tea_, Miles. I think you'll like it."

He stared suspiciously at the bag. "What have you put in it?"

Jess grinned maliciously. "Oh, nothing. It's just chamomile and vanilla…and a few other things." She retreated towards the door, still giggling. As she exited, she called back, "Oh, and I think Lang was planning on stopping by later. Have _fun_~"

The prosecutor momentarily considered what she could have meant by "have fun", and picked up the paper bag curiously. True enough, the label read "True Passion: Chamomile and Vanilla Tea Leaves". At the very least, she hadn't lied about that. However, the bottom of the label was torn slightly, obscuring the end of the description. All he could make out was "Co-e a po-ac."

The tear seemed to be accidental, but Miles didn't want to take any chances, not with what Jess's plots _usually_ entailed, and so he decided not to try the suspicious tea.

Suddenly, he remembered her mentioning Agent Lang paying a visit later. A true gentleman always provided tea for his guests, even if they were obnoxious Interpol agents. Luckily, Edgeworth always kept his own supply of tea underneath his desk, just in case.

He opened his desk drawer, and stared in shock. It was completely empty. His extensive tea store, every possible type from Earl Grey to Spiced Apple, was gone. The only tea he had in his office was…

The bag Jess had brought.

_No._ No, he wasn't going to use it. Even if the fangirl _didn't _have some ulterior motive, which he highly doubted, he would _not_ drink that tea. Who knows what she could have put in it? He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. There was still time to run to the store and buy some more before—

As he opened the door, he found himself face to face with none other than Agent Lang.

"Going somewhere, pretty boy?" the Asian agent inquired. "Too bad. I need to get some information from a case you're working on."

The prosecutor cursed his bad luck, and internally swore a plethora of obscenities towards the hyper fangirl, who he had no doubt was behind the sudden tea shortage. At this point, it seemed he was down to two options: either make no tea and hope that the agent didn't notice the deviation in the prosecutor's usual habits, or make the tea supplied by Jess, and pray there were no unfortunate side effects.

xoxoxoxox

Hopefully, Lang wouldn't even notice the lack of tea. It wasn't, Miles reflected, like the agent had a refined bone in his entire body, but the prosecutor was still on edge. Tea is proper etiquette; that was what he had been taught. Whenever faced with guests, invite them in and offer them a cup of tea. But there wasn't any tea. _There wasn't any tea._

Roughly ten minutes into their discussion of the case, which was regarding some smuggling group bringing illegal substances to the US, Lang paused and stared suspiciously at Miles.

"That's strange," he said. "Don't you usually offer me a cup of your terrible tea by now?"

_Damn it._

Miles brewed the questionable tea, and poured a cup for both Lang and himself. Whatever side effects it may have, he would have to suffer them right along with his guest. Preparing himself for the worse, he took a sip.

"You okay?" Lang inquired. "It seems something's been bothering you today."

The prosecutor decided that truth was the best option. "It's Jess," he answered. "She stole all of my tea sometime this morning, and replaced it with this."

Almost immediately, the agent spat out a mouthful of tea. "That lunatic gave you a suspicious tea, and you _drank it_? Even more importantly, you made _me_ drink it? Are you _insane_?"

Miles stared down at the misty grey substance in his hand. "It _seems_ to be alright. In theory, if the tea had had anything in it, it would have gone into effect by now. Right?"

Lang shrugged. "I guess. I still don't trust that ditz, though. She's up to something."

The room was suddenly becoming very warm. Edgeworth adjusted his cravat, staring down at the drink again. "Is it just me, or do you think it's rather hot in here…?"

"You're right." The agent stood, and turned towards the door. "I'll bet anything it was that damn tea. When I find that girl-" He suddenly fell back into his seat, clutching at his head with both hands. "God, what did she put in that thing?"

"It couldn't have been poison, could it?" the prosecutor asked. He had removed his jacket, along with his beloved cravat, and his vision was spinning before his eyes. "Why would she—"

"Shut up." Lang had risen to his feet, staring very intently at Miles. Miles sent him a worried look as the agent made his way towards the prosecutor.

Edgeworth followed his progress uneasily. "Are you feeling alright, Agent Lang? You look—"

"I said _shut up._"

Before he could react, Lang seized the prosecutor by the arms and pulled him towards him, locking him in a kiss. Edgeworth jumped in surprise, and then slowly eased into the kiss, his hands sliding onto the larger man's muscled chest as their lips pressed hungrily together. Reluctantly, they pulled apart, staring at each other with an uncontrollable lust. Their breathing was heavy, their hands clutching each other's jackets.

"Do you think it was the tea?" Miles asked.

Lang pulled him into another kiss, slipping a hand under the prosecutor's jacket. "At the moment, pretty boy, I really don't give a damn."

xoxoxox

Miles sat on his couch, tired and sore, staring around the office. It was, without a doubt, an absolute mess. Files and books were scattered on the floor, along with nearly everything which had obstructed the ground between his desk and the couch. Lang sat next to him, and the prosecutor had noticed with some level of disapproval that he had lit a cigarette.

On the floor nearby were most of their clothes. Miles had retrieved his pants out of sheer embarrassment, but Lang seemed perfectly comfortable in his very tight, very _revealing_ boxers.

The agent had retrieved the bag for the tea once the effects had… worn off… and scrutinized the label carefully. Now he was simply turning it over in his hand, silent.

"I think I know what she gave us," he said, after a few minutes of silence.

Miles looked up expectantly. "What? Did she drug us?"

The agent shook his head. "Not exactly. Look at this." He pointed to the torn message at the bottom of the label. "This looks like a warning. Probably about something contained in the tea. I think she snuck you an aphrodisiac."

"Is that why we… um…" The prosecutor turned a brighter red than any suit he had ever worn, and directed his gaze pointedly at the floorboards.

Lang laughed. "Why, pretty boy? Regretting it that soon?"

If possible, Miles turned an even deeper shade of red. "What? I-I-I just—" He was interrupted by another amused laugh.

"I'm kidding." The agent ground out his cigarette on the floor, and Miles winced slightly. "Geez, you're such a prude, getting all embarrassed over a single one night stand." As if realizing something, Lang grinned and looked over at Miles. "Or could it be you actually have feelings for me?"

The prosecutor recoiled, stuttering objections. "Th-That's ridiculous! I would never-! E-Even if I were attracted to men, you're obnoxious and uncouth! You don't know the first thing about proper etiquette!" After a moment's hesitation, he added, "Even if you are handsome."

Lang leaned back on the couch with a smirk, and Miles swallowed nervously. "Very handsome."

Unable to resist any longer, Miles lunged across the couch, wrapping his arms around the agent's neck and kissing him. Lang wrapped an arm around the prosecutor, and kissed him back. When their lips parted, the Interpol operative was still smirking.

Miles stared at him in mild surprise. "You… you're… attracted to me?"

"Took you long enough to notice," Lang replied with a smile. "I was about ready to give up on you, pretty boy. We've known each other what, three years now? And you just now realized?"

The prosecutor let out a bitter laugh. "I had convinced myself you were interested in Franziska."

Lang scoffed. "That chick? Your _sister_? You are terrible at determining sexualities. If she's not a lesbian, then I've never been attracted to men. And as you've probably determined by now, I'm not straight." The agent smiled softly, brushing a hand across Miles's face affectionately. "Look, I'll just tell you, 'cause I've been rehearsing this for nearly three years now. Miles Edgeworth, I am not simply attracted to you. This isn't some little fifteen-year-old crush that's likely to go away. I love you more than anyone I've ever met, and I honestly don't care how you feel about it, because even if you think I'm an unsalvageable sadistic bastard I'm still going to love you. You could shoot me, kill me even, and you know what? I'd still love you. I—"

"Lang—" Miles began, staring at the agent in complete surprise.

"Don't interrupt me. I am yours, no matter what happens to either of us. I would change everything about myself for you, if only to be in your company for a few minutes. And—"

"Lang." Miles placed a hand lightly over the agent's mouth, silencing him. "You've made your point. And I just have to say…" He took a deep breath, as if preparing himself for what he was going to say. "I've never hated you. I complain about your lack of manners and your entitled attitude, but those things are the very things that make how I feel that much more amazing. Because I love you. You make me act recklessly; you blind out every thought in my head. I love you."

They kissed again, softly and quickly, and then lingered, relishing the moment. Lang wrapped both arms tightly around Miles as if he would never let go, and Miles rested his head lovingly against the agent's toned chest.

In the back of his mind, Miles made a point to thank Jess for the tea.


End file.
